So, I thought long and hard about being angry. Why do I feel it bubbling just under the surface more often than not? Why do I let myself become bitter? Why do I have such a hard time with forgiveness?
I think part of the reason could be that my first encounter with an overwhelming anger occured before I’d even reached my teenage years, due to circumstances beyond my control. So helplessness, combined with anger, seems to have produced a very nasty chain reaction…I’ve never known quite how to deal with the painful things of life. So, here I am, in my mid-twenties, wondering when I’ll finally lose that last screw holding it all together.
It’s not really the anger that I’m so angry with, it’s always how I choose to deal with it. I’m more angry with myself than anyone or anything. I’ve talked myself out of being angry with God, and the people and things that have hurt me throughout the years are just people, just things. Hurt happens. Ultimately, they can’t be “blamed.” I am only responsible for myself. So, I can definitely blame me.
And, it must be my spirit piping up…”there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…”